(Do you know what 70’s song inspired this blog’s headline? I’ll share it in just a moment…)
Just eight miles from our home in East Tennessee is the Taylor Bridge, which crosses the Nolichucky River.
Well, it was a bridge.
Massive flooding caused by Hurricane Helene swept through on Sept. 27, and now, the bridge is gone.
Houses and farmlands along the riverbanks were also devastated. As we drove along the rural countryside roads, it was heart-wrenching to see the destruction to homes, farms and properties. Lives disrupted, even lost. Connections severed.
If you want to help those specifically in our neck of the woods, you can donate to the Neighbor to Neighbor Disaster Relief Fund. This fund is exclusively aiding the response and recovery in East Tennessee by providing strategic grants to support nonprofits and agencies aiding this region and its recovery amid devastating impacts from Hurricane Helene.
Our sympathy and prayers continue to go out to those who’ve been impacted by this natural disaster, including people we know and love. We hope our and our friends’ volunteer efforts contribute to this long road to recovery.
The Importance of Bridges
On the way back from a business event yesterday, Leticia and I stopped to see what was left of the Taylor Bridge.
There was nothing left over the water. All that remained was the wreckage of roadway leading up to the water on each side.
As I stood there, staring at the space vacated by that once-sturdy bridge, I thought about the metaphorical bridges in our lives — the relationships and connections we make, and break, along the way.
We’ve all heard the advice, “Don’t burn bridges.” But why is this so often repeated? I believe it comes down to three key reasons:
- You never know when you’ll need that connection again. What if, 15 years down the road, a fellow employee you felt wronged you ends up being the decision-maker in your dream job you’ve applied for — and you’re one of the two finalists? What if you had burnt that bridge with that person by telling them off and saying, “I will NEVER have anything to do with you the rest of my life!” as you slam the door on the way out. Ooooh… that would be awkward.
- Holding onto grudges isn’t just unhealthy — it also serves no one. Letting go and moving on is always a better path.
- Life is too short not to make peace, to rebuild relationships, or at least to leave them intact.
Opportunities to Burn Bridges
We’ve all been there. Life throws us curveballs, or people do us wrong, and we’re left with a choice — torch the bridge or keep it standing?
At one of my past jobs, I worked under a command-and-control supervisor who micromanaged almost every detail and created an oppressive environment. I often thought about walking out, but I kept my head down and tried to do the best job I could.
At the same job, a competitive coworker actively undermined me, seeking praise for herself and her work at my expense. She rarely spoke to me, and the atmosphere felt toxic.
At another employer, I was let go under false pretenses. The supervisor claimed it was due to a “right-sizing” (“We’re eliminating the PR position in the marketing department” was what I was told) when the reality was that I had stood up to an unethical decision by the COO, with corporate legal counsel backing me.
I could have burned these bridge down to ashes, but I didn’t. Instead, I essentially “turned the other cheek.”
But I also didn’t make an effort to reconnect with any of them — except for the last one. I gave her a chance to redeem herself a few years later, meeting for a snack at a mini-cafe in a bookstore. She had since moved on and was involved in her own business consultancy. When I asked her about the reason for my dismissal, she repeated the same right-sizing lie. I left that meet-up just shaking my head.
Surprisingly, I had also learned this former employer actually hired a new PR person less than a year after I left.
I’ve learned from each of these experiences. I chose to leave all these bridges standing, which I’ve never regretted. But I also haven’t regretted not burning bridges in a blaze of anger.
When a Burned Bridge Was MY Fault
Very early in my career, I made a very bad choice with a coworker while working at a Utah company that provided seminars. The providers of one of the seminars approached us and suggested we leave the company, and they’d hire us to market their trainings.
Well, word got back to the president of our company (my supervisor) and we were immediately fired (as I believe we were simultaneously quitting). On top of it all, my wife was fired as his family’s private music teacher.
I felt horrible for my poor decision-making, especially since the head of this company had taught me so much about PR, marketing and copywriting. Lawsuits were threatened against me and my coworker, and against this seminar vendor. It was ugly — and probably the lowest point of my career.
This killed off our ill-conceived business venture, and we were left with no job and therefore no income. We decided to start our own business anyway, but it was a struggle landing our first clients.
About 10 years later (I think), I decided to contact this former employer and beg for forgiveness. It was on me to rebuild this bridge. How relieved and grateful I felt for his quick forgiveness. Not only that, but his new company became a client for a time and we’ve even stayed at his house when visiting Utah.
It was at this point, I became determined to leave all bridges standing, if not strengthened.
Don’t Burn Bridges: Personal & Professional Values
Burning bridges in your career or personal life is never wise. Legendary business leader Stephen R. Covey said it best: “Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.” Relationships, even difficult ones, can hold value, and maintaining them can open unexpected doors later on.
Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg adds, “Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder. Maintaining connections with former colleagues and bosses ensures you always have a support system, no matter where you go.”
Bridges symbolize connection — and destroying them can sever opportunities. In today’s interconnected world, a burnt bridge could close off future partnerships, clients, or job opportunities.
The 3 Big Takeaways
- If someone does you wrong, move on — don’t burn the bridge. You never know what may come in the future.
- A connection that seemed toxic or strained could later be valuable. Stay open to the possibility.
- Choose to let go of grudges. Stay positive and build connections, even when others seem determined to burn bridges. Turn the other cheek.
That Confounded Bridge
Growing up in Brookfield, WI, my best friend Scott and I bonded over music in the 70s. My band of choice was Pink Floyd, his was Led Zeppelin. Between us, we had all their albums. We’d swap albums, listen for hours, and memorize lyrics.
There are songs and lyrics forever embedded in our memories from those days. One unforgettable line was, “Where’s that confounded bridge?” uttered at the end of Led Zeppelin’s song “The Crunge” — found on their 1973 album, “Houses of the Holy.” (Click here to hear that portion of the song.)
That line popped into my head as I stood in disbelief at the devastation Hurricane Helene left behind so close to home, wiping out the Taylor Bridge over the Nolichucky River.
Keep Building Bridges
A key to great communications/PR is always making connections and building bridges so that you can scale your business by giving people what they want.
But you have to communicate in a way that will get your potential customer’s attention. What you say, how you say it, and when you say it all matter.
If you flood your contacts with too many messages or don’t communicate effectively, you’ll wipe out any potential bridge building.
How are you managing the bridges in your life? Want to strengthen the bridges you’ve built with your connections? Email us — let’s chat about keeping your connections strong and meaningful.
If you ever need to reconnect with a former boss/coworker or past business associate, the last thing you should be uttering is, “Where’s that confounded bridge?”
Jeffery E. Pizzino, APR is a spin-free public relations pro who is passionate about telling the why of your story with clarity, impact and authenticity. He began his PR career in 1987 at Ketchum Public Relations in New York City but has spent the majority of his career as a solopreneur. He’s AuthenticityPR’s Chief Authentic Officer and also functions as the fractional CCO for technology startup Converus.
Jeff has an MBA in Management from Western International University and a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications — with an emphasis in PR — from Brigham Young University. He’s a native of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but also holds an Italian citizenship. Jeff and his storyteller wife Leticia have four children and four grandchildren. In his extremely limited nonwork hours, he studies italiano, practices guitar, gardens, disc golfs, reads, listens to New Wave music, serves in his church, watches BYU football, and plays Dominion and Seven Wonders. Email Jeff.
